The face I let other people see vs. how I feel at least five different times in a single day.
Why is depression even a thing? It’s literally like your brain wants to just self destruct and you have to try with all of your might to keep it together.
I have a wonderful husband, I have two beautiful children, we have a home that although it is small, it is so cozy and perfect for our family in this chapter of our lives. I have everything a person could hope for and yet I always feel empty... I don’t feel worthy enough for my husband - I never feel pretty enough to even let myself be close to him. I am 100% not a shallow person, and it isn’t all about looks, but when you feel like you’re disgusting and that your husband should just go out and find better - that’s devastating. When you’ve told your husband to divorce you for the fourth time this month - you love him more than anything but in your heart you know he deserves better - that is so hurtful. Let me just add in here though, that my husband tells me I am absolutely gorgeous and so loved on a daily basis, more than once a day...but my depression doesn’t let me believe him.
I don’t see anyone really going into depth and talking about this kind of stuff, but it is real and it’s out there. Check up on your friends and family who seem like they constantly have it together - they could very well be like me, holding back tears on their downtime.
They say it gets better, to hold on, and keep the faith...and that’s what I’m continuing to try and do. If you ever feel completely worthless, you ARE NOT alone and I am here for anyone who needs a friend or someone to talk to
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