No one would have ever known I was suffering. On the outside it seemed like I had it all, & that’s how I wanted it to be. So I put on a front. Every time I went out I’d laugh the loudest, dance the wildest, party the hardest, dress the skimpiest.
What people didn’t know is that I spent hours trying on everything in my closet until I found something I didn’t feel hideous in. I’d stand in front of the mirror pinching, pulling, & squeezing at my body, wishing everything was smaller.
I was 100 pounds.
From the outside looking in I had it all: the successful career (hated), the body (hated), the looks (hated), the friends (that I thought hated me), the fun personality (forced)... you see what I mean.
It would be years before I got the help I needed, after I thought death was the only way out.
Why am I telling you this? Because suicide rates are climbing exponentially. I read an article that said a doctor in CA has seen a year’s worth of suicide deaths in the last 4 weeks. That’s just 1 doctor.
That’s not okay.
We so easily forget that we’re valuable just because of who we are. Everything else is just fluff. Smoke & mirrors. But we’re deceived by our egos telling us that we gotta be perfect. We’ve gotta have the perfect job, relationship, body, looks, financial status, home, car, family, lifestyle... the list goes on.
Millions of us have been stripped of things we THINK give us value, & without them our lives become meaningless. But this is a lie.
None of that shit means anything. The only thing that’s of value is YOU. Your spirit! Even when you leave your body, you‘re still YOU. That’s eternal & can never be taken from you.
It’s often those who seem happiest that shock us with their intentional departure. Check on your friends & family. Ask them if they’re REALLY okay. Tell them you love them for WHO they are, not WHAT they have, WHAT they do, or HOW they look.
Lend an ear to a stranger. Smile to people you pass in the street (take off the mask. Like, right now). Pay for a stranger’s meal.
Simple acts mean so much & can be the difference between life & death. Don’t wait.
Remember, you’re MORE than enough, even at your lowest. I’m here for you always.