How can you beat negative self-talk?
Step 1: Take a step back
When you find yourself ruminating, take a step back and think. What evidence do I have that what I am worrying about is fact? Most of the time, it will be something internal rather than external that has us thinking in this negative way. Remember, you are not your thoughts. You can choose not to believe what your inner critic is telling you.
Step 2: Give your inner critic a name
I learnt about this through researching Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for anxiety but it works well in this scenario too. If you give your inner critic a name, you are removing yourself from the equation. You are forcing yourself to see that you are not your thoughts. Compare ‘I am rubbish at this, why do I even bother?’ to ‘Oh Jenny, at it again, telling me I can’t do this, well I am going to prove your wrong!’
Step 3: Alternative perspective
When your inner critic is in full force, try to change your perspective on the situation. Is there another way that you can view this situation? I am big believer that there is a lesson to be learned in every situation we find ourselves in. So instead of concentrating on the negative, think about what you can learn from the situation.
Step 4: Accepting who you are, imperfections and all
What I am going to say might seem paradoxical but if you want to grow and make changes in your life, it is vital you accept who you are right now. Not once you’ve lost a few pounds or have found the perfect job, house, partner etc but you right now. This is because to be able to make changes and grow, you need to believe in yourself, have determination and perseverance and you cannot do that if you don’t like who you are.
If you need any support with this then please get in touch xo