I wonder if girls know how men deal with heartbreaks?
I wonder if they know that his pillow doesn't get wet from the tears, but the feathers inside of a pillow shrink from all the warm and long sighs he takes all night, trying to cry but failing miserably.
I wonder if they know that he didn't close his eyes and played all the good memories, instead he stared at the fan in the dark all night trying to think what went wrong. (Let's accept it, girls hardly tell what went wrong. They just leave us to figure it out.) I wonder if they know he doesn't pick up the ice-cream tub from the freezer and sits in pyjamas all night eating and regretting, instead he tries to inflict pressure on his body, and runs in vain, joins a gym, kills his regular appetite. Just to punish himself.
I wonder if girls realise that even though he couldn't remember dates and days, he remembers words. Words that are playing on a loop in his head while he is eating or walking or working. It stops only in silence because that's when the regret takes over.
I wonder if girls know that he doesn't want to give love a second chance, but he needs someone to tell him it's gonna be okay, to tell him it's okay to grieve, 'cause love made him weak. If he doesn't find someone soon enough, the silence and the regret would drive him to become somewhat inhuman. Stoic, if I must term it.
I wonder if girls know that he couldn't tell his best friend when he had a heartbreak. Not because he doesn't trust his bestie, but 'cause he isn't programmed to share losses. Emotional losses. So he grieves in isolation, at least for the start.
I wonder a lot of things when I think about it, but what I wonder the most is, if girls know that men too have a hard time dealing with a heartbreak.
MEN TOO HAVE A HARD TIME DEALING WITH A HEARTBREAK.
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