Probably my biggest change in my life has been looking inwards, learning to change myself rather than the uncontrollable world around me. I used to look around at things that annoyed me, made me sad or whatever and think if I could just change that, if I could just do this, if I could get rid of this person, if the weather was nicer, if I had more money etc etc etc then I'd be happy. We are conditioned by advertising and indeed social media to want more, rather than being the elusive 'happy'. Personally over the years, I'd want an expensive car, the newest mobile phone, the biggest telly, six pack abs, get the girl, because if I got those things, I'd be happy. And I was, for a short period then the feeling of inner discontentment comes back and you lust after the next thing, rinse and repeat.
Ultimately over time I've learned that happiness really is an inside job, and you cannot control the world around you, trying to do so just beings more difficulty. You can only look inward, control your ego rather than have your ego control you, learn to appreciate what you have and accept the things you can't control, learn kindness and compassion for others,accept your past and work to become the person you want to be.
For me that's brought a whole new level of me, I'm calm under stress, I rarely get mad about anything and overall, I'm happy, content and a far better version of myself. If bad things happen, I deal with them or let them go. I'm learning to show up as my best self, build trust with myself and love myself for who I am becoming. If someone acts badly, I reflect that perhaps they are having a bad day and are in pain themselves. Rarely do people really go out their way to hurt you. People are hard to hate when you zoom in and try to understand them.
People who know me now see me as calm, someone who rarely gets flustered and always looking forward. People in my past will remember a whole different person, someone constantly wanting more, unhappy, angry at times. But working on myself has changed so much, it's taken me many years, countless books, podcasts and YouTube videos, meditation retreats and a lot of self reflection but prior to that I was deeply