It’s been a while since I thought about it, about this, about this pain and loneliness that resides deep in my heart.
This- this loneliness is something I don’t have time for. I give it all to you, don’t I? Time that’s on my hand, certainly not my loneliness, duh.
You see, this things?
They tell me it’s in my eyes too, at times though.
You know what they say, they say I know how to hide it or I got it too easy.
Do you know, how they look at me, at my clothes, at us, so you?
Ever since I remember, I guess...
Why is it? .
Is there something wrong with me?
Shouldn’t I be the one at times enjoying it all?
Or do you think that I’ve been pampered too much, too?
Why don’t you tell me?
You know, I seldom sit back and think about us but then there is this frustration that creeps into my thoughts.
Emptiness it is.
Why is it we don’t have any happy memory(s) at all, and if there is someone or something taints it?
Why you never tell me?
Why you never talk to me the way you talk to everyone?
Do you still think if I hadn’t been yours you wouldn’t be talking to me at all?
I want truth.
Because maybe then I’ll befriend this emptiness and loneliness in a better way and won’t let it go.
Do you know I miss you more when you sit next to me and talk to everyone on call/ in the room but with me?
Tell me you don’t know....
Because I know you don’t.
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