I was super feeling myself in this new outfit. But I hesitated a full week to post this picture. And I still haven't worn this shirt out... I mean, I will, 'cause I look fly as hell! But reclaiming the title of "Fat Bitch" comes with a lot of mixed feelings and loads of vulnerability.
I've been fat all my life, and let me tell you... it ain't easy Iiving in a bigger body. There are physical and emotional challenges that can wear you down quick. You're taught from a young age that there's no space for you in this world. No value for you. No love for you.
The shift from the self-hate and down-talk that you're taught to take on, to acceptance and 'celebration of self' seems damn near impossible. But it can happen, over time, with a lot of work, a lot of kindness, and a whole lotta ups and downs.
As for the "bitch" part... yeah, tha's a whole other can of worms. I've taken on the word ever since 1999 when I was drawn to the book "BITCH: In Praise of Difficult Women" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. I've been called this lovinglingly by my closest friends, and with disgust by my closest family. Either way, it still stings a little whenever I hear or use the word. And that's what it's meant to do.
With reclaiming any words meant to sting, there's vulnerability, power, love, hate, pride, sadness, hurt, courage, and a whole range of other emotions. But really, at the core of it, is acknowledging your undeniable place in this world, and finding an unconditional self-love deep down, that no one can take from you.
#lessonsfromTanaz #visiblyplussize #effyourbeautystandards #fatbitch #fatfemme #fatgirlflow