Sometimes I look back at pictures and I immediately feel overwhelming sadness.
My journey hasn’t been just about fitness, although I’m incredibly happy I decided to take control of my health. My journey has been more of a mental one.
Isn’t it crazy how years can pass, but a single picture can bring back a flood of emotions?
The picture on the left is so random but yet I remember it like it was yesterday. (It’s from 2015). I actually felt “cute” and was on a day date. Of course Hobby Lobby was on my list of spots to go without kids.
My husband at the time took the picture and I immediately wanted to cry.
Just like that... whatever confidence I thought I had was gone. How could I look so fat?
I used to workout and diet because I hated my body. In reality, I probably hated myself.
If I snacked on something “bad”, I’d punish myself with self-loathing thoughts or take off calories I could eat the next day.
It was an unhealthy battle in my mind.
After I got divorced, I was still learning who I was, and either barely eating or binging on McDonald’s.
Although I can now confidently say I’m healthier than I’ve ever been, does that inner meal girl still arise? Absolutely. But now I have the tools to deal with her in the best ways.
I no longer workout because I hate myself or my body. I workout because it makes me feel good. It makes me be a better person. I have more energy. My aches and pains are minimized. I can look in the mirror and choose love over hate.
So maybe you’re on some kind of journey yourself. Or maybe you want to start but keep “failing”. Here’s your gentle reminder that failing is inevitably going to happen. “Success isn’t built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes on catastrophe.”
#throwbackthursday #throwback #thenandnow #myjourney #mystory #meangirls #transformation #change #changeisgood #changeyourlife
#growthmindset #growth #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #healthy #health #betterme #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #fitness #fitnessjourney #fitmom #fit #happy #happygirlsaretheprettiest